coming out of the fog


I lived most of my life completely disembodied, so much so, that when I would walk by a mirror I’d often be surprised to see an Asian person staring back at me. It wasn’t that I hated my body in that way we are taught to by diet culture to lament our fat and imperfections (also part of our larger system oppression, btw, and I later struggled with this too). I simply felt no connection to my body at all - a kind of dysphoria without any language or understanding - and often longed to be white. It’s taken decades to finally begin to decolonize myself from whiteness and to see, understand, and inhabit my identity as a Korean woman. Adoptees often refer to this as “coming out of the fog”.

Last night I was on a call with over 300 other transracial adoptees of all different races, examining and sharing about our unique positioning in supporting the Black Lives Matter movement. I realized that our narratives are also our unique superpower, as we’ve been navigating the nuanced and difficult complexities between race our whole lives. Thanks Also Known As and April Dinwoodie for hosting, and to the incredible panelists who shared their wisdom and truth. 

AND I just want 10 minutes of fabulousness in this dress!


4 comments:

  1. I'm sure I can't imagine all the layers to peel in your process of becoming and defogging. I'm glad you're finding strong community...in this peeling, in this becoming. xo

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  2. So lovely to find you here. xo!

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