Here's what I know to begin (the true story of my relinquishment):
- I was left at SOS Children's Village in Daegu, S. Korea on July 21, 1972 around 7pm
- Local police escorted me to White Lily Orphanage (that evening?)
- August 23, I was sent to Holt Children's Services in Seoul (second orphanage?)
- October 13, possible registration to foster family in Seoul
- December 19, 1972 - emigration to the US to join my adoptive family at JFK airport, My mom, dad, nana and papa were there to meet me off the plane.
Here's where I've begun:
- Email inquiry sent to SOS Children's Village who says they have no record thus far, but are looking into a more thorough search with further info I provided.
- Step 1, to initiate a search through my adoption agency, complete - confirmation of adoption facilitation through Holt International. Access to forms to request Post Adoption Services.
- Step 2, Petition notarized and mailed to US office in OR, to be matched with information via their HQ in Seoul to determine if they have enough information for a possible birth family search.
- Begun the process to cross reference my 23and Me results with other DNA matching sites, sourced through other adoptees (Family Tree DNA, My Heritage, GED Match)
- Printed form for DNA collection via a program just launched this year through the Korean Consulate and the S. Korean government, as they have been compiling a database of families searching for their biological children.
- Joined 2 world-wide FB groups for Korean Adoptees - it's staggering the number of people searching for their birth families
Here's what's coming up:
- There are a lot of new questions and a lot of new feelings to reconcile staring directly at what's true.
- Since becoming a mom, I always now feel things from both the side of the child and the perspective of a mother. It's a very, very strange dissonance as an adoptee.
- The intersection of my story and my parents story. How a month after I was born they had already begun the process to adopt a child, which also means their journey and desire to become parents started long before then.
- I likely had a foster mother/family too. It's not a part of the adoption story that gets spoken about very often, and there is loss there (on both sides) too.
- The multiple layers of early, preverbal grief and loss
- The industry of adoption (from a capitalist perspective), and what we think constitutes 'a better life'
- So many relevant thoughts on Little Fires Everywhere, which I just finished - would love to hear other people's thoughts!
- There are so many adoptee resources available, and how I wish I had had them as a kid growing up (another kind of grief and loss)
- Going back to S. Korea with my kids
- How much I truly love my family
- The complex and hard truth, that love is not always the same as belonging
- Did I mention all the feelings?