today



In the interest of keeping it real with you my beloved readers, today I am struggling. 

I know this too shall pass, but it doesn't make my present moment any easier. 

What's helping for real is laughing with my 8 year old over all the many Strange But True facts we read together, ice cream in the sunshine after school, a real-talk Insta post, contemplating leaving Facebook, cheap sauvignon blanc, homemade pork fried rice for dinner, blue skies and warm sunshine, a walk in the park, anything green and alive, podcasts about self care and depression (I don't think I'm depressed, just still grieving, but keeping a close eye on things for sure), messages from friends, and the fact that it's 8pm and I actually made it to the end of this harrowing day.

This is simply how it goes sometimes. I know this now. And thought I've never done divorce and single motherhood before, I have a sense of how the fallout happens: over time, and in waves. and in every direction, and always unexpected.

Today it's by the skin of my teeth and one heart beat to the next. 

Here I am.

Alive. Not great. But here.

Still, I am so grateful for you... and this space to share my truest of truths.

2 comments:

  1. My dearest Mindy.. .I am sorry I did not see this post until today.

    I hope these words find you in a place of tenderness towards yourself.

    I wish I could hold your hand and tell you just how amazing a job you are doing because of the deep awareness and presence that you have and feel towards what is unfolding within and without for you, and for your beautiful children.

    I wish we lived closer so I could walk by your house with scones out of the oven, and a hug for as long as you want.

    I wish we did not have to make these heart wrenching choices of having to choose ourselves or our marriage.

    I wish we could shield our children away from it all

    And I know.. I know that at this very moment, even if you feel like the stitches of your life are thin and fraying.. I know that you are creating a life that looks like the yearning of your heart. And that this demands tremendous courage, and faith, and vulnerability.

    I love you.
    xoxo

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    Replies
    1. Isabelle, I feel you close and I am so grateful for these kind words. I wish we could sit together too... often it feels like we do, in that way that understanding feels like a warm embrace. Thank you, friend. For all of your sweetness, all of your open-heartedness and all of your love.

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