beneath the snow and grief


Right now, our third Noreaster in 10 days is bearing down on us. It feels a little like nature mimicking life. Things have been dire in a way that's been stretching everything far beyond their capacity. I've had to learn some new survival skills over the last week... like how to pack my washing machine with snow for emergency refrigeration, and how to file a fraud report when your bank account is hacked, how to make a 911 call from a cell phone at 3am when a car crashes outside your window, and how to make a giant pot of meaty chili that's also half vegetarian for my dear friends who lost their husband/dad two days ago. 

Amidst the damage control and losses everything feels a bit surreal, as if any minute I''l hear a voice-over say... "and now back to your regular scheduled program.", and everything is right in the world again. But I know this is just life. 

What is keeping me anchored are three things:

Motherhood. Deep in the trenches of care taking and cozy homemaking like our life depends on it, because it sort of does. Please don't let us lose power and heat again, during this storm! I'm baking cookies for breakfast just in case.

My creative work. Hours under blankets and making shit happen that will have a positive impact on this world that feels like chaos and destruction right now. The fire of purpose is fierce and bright under all this snow and grief.

Friends and family and YOU. Connection really is everything right now. Maybe it's the only thing that truly matters. And there's also nothing like impending doom to bring people together at their best.  

Love going out, today, to anyone who needs it <3 I'll see you on the other side.






2 comments:

  1. Sending so much love Mindy.... I am so sorry its been such a tough week. I find loosing heat during cold weather directly impacts our sense of safety, which for me is shaky at best. And then to have your bank account hacked. I hope karma exists....

    I heard something about an imminent electromagnetic storm hitting the Earth on March 18th that could in the days before cause sleep disturbances, dizzyness, and other ailments, most especially with those of us who are empaths, or highly sensitives. Sleep as been scarce since Saturday for me, with impending court day this Thursday.

    I found myself highly anxious this weekend and exhausted - not having my daughters with me after Spring break, when we were together 24/7 for a full week, was like a shock for my system. I just sat on the couch and watched Netflix, my body feeling very cold and aching everywhere.

    I do not know how you do it Mindy: taking care of others aside your children and yourself during this time. I know that, at the moment, its impossible for me. I just need to allow myself to be very selfish and take care of my girls and me only right now.

    Same for creative work - I soooo admire you. I have not been able to paint since the move - only your beautiful collage process is what keeps my creativity a little bit afloat. And yet.. there is a hunger. An actual physical hunger for paint and color.

    And at the same time, I am right now, let's be honest, at war. His tactics are below anything I have seen, lying to the girls, not keeping his words and putting the blame on me. I think this is perhaps the fight of my life: the fight for my girls. Because I promised them.

    And through all this, I recognize that I am truly supported. I look around me at our appartment which was almost entirely furnished by donations by friends. My lawyer who is a Wonder Woman. My daughters who show such strenght... I did not know, I did not realize that these daughters of mine are also warriors. It is not a path I would have put them on at such a young age. But perhaps it is their path.

    I want you to know that I am sending you love. Please do not hesitate to reach out if you feel like talking, or crying together.

    With huge hugs,

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    Replies
    1. Isabelle, we all have our own way how we navigate tough transitions and grief. None of it is right or wrong, better or lesser. This it’s so wonderful to have so many people in our lives, so we can lift one another other up when needed most. We all need more lifting from time to time. Thank you for your offer of comfort and support. It really means a lot.

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