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Embody <---- my word of 2015



I'm not going to lie. This word that I chose feels like a huge challenge.

It's not that I don't think I walk the walk with the work I do and the things I share. But the honest truth is that I've been really disconnected with my physical body for a long time. I've fallen into this pattern of sort of doing the bare minimum to keep this vessel moving and grooving, which feels so out of alignment with all the progress I have made in my spiritual and emotional growth.

It feels like I am all heart, head and sacral energy. Disembodied. Floating.

It's the basic things, like I need to goto the dentist, and my eyes have changed with age and it's time for new glasses. It is also the more overarching abstractions, the energetic code I can't quite seem to crack with how I have been choosing to take care of myself and how these things always somehow fall to the bottom of my list. It is the lesson that comes up for me over and over.

Being really present in my sexual body over the last several years has really called my attention to this disparity. I am not comfortable in my own skin. This is not in a judgmental sense or a shame-based assessment of being something others expect me to be, but really in the literal way of not feeling good or healthy in my body. Yet, I really struggle with making the necessary changes. It feels scary to admit that.

I know it is not intellectual or outside knowledge I need for this kind of alignment and integration. It's something else entirely - an awareness I haven't been able to truly touch yet, deep in the narratives of my own enough-ness. I've had inklings, but no real revelations.

And so I am fighting my way down this path because it is time, to discover and nurture and heal and become more fully integrated with my physical being, this year. I want to Be more embodied, whole, and healthy as an entire human being.

It is, in this moment, the missing piece.







Comments

  1. I so love this <3 thank you beautiful xx

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    1. thank YOU for these lovely words and for stopping by to share them!

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  2. Your words were bang on for me this morning, because I am in exactly the same place as you. So dissociated from my body, all in my head. And how the hell to go about tackling it? No idea, so I am sitting with it, in the hope that the way in will be made plain to me.

    So I'm really looking forward to seeing how you tackle your journey in the hope that I can learn something for my own. Thank you so much for sharing this vulnerability that no one seems to talk about, and yet so many of us seem to suffer from.

    Best Wishes for your 'Embody' year, Bex xxx

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    1. Bex, I am so glad to have struck and resonant nerve…. love having company as I try to figure things out! My to do list is filled with things I need to take care of, the easy (well, seemingly easy things) and I will start there. I'm careful not to devise some crazy plan, because that is never the answer. I feel like it is something in getting more rooted in the care… connecting with it, not just doing it. it'll be a slow excavation and I have no end goal, just to shift and see what shakes loose. love and light to you on your journey too! I'd love to hear how you progress as well. xoxo

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