this week i am feeling the weight... of life, of the baby growing inside of me, of everything unknown. i'm feeling very tender and sensitive and unsure about a lot of things, and i've been holding on to the things that are helping me get through these days like my son's smile, my husband's encouragement, the little wiggles inside my tummy, and staying connected with my creativity and the people and things that really bring me joy. i am carefully putting one foot in front of the other.
on the cusp of so many changes i feel like a caterpillar wanting to crawl into a safe and snug cacoon, to shut out the world so i can focus simply on growing, becoming and soon emerging into a new life. still i know, now is not the time to retreat.
i've been reading a little about prenatal and postpartum depression and was surprised to find some daunting statistics... that an estimated 1/3 of all mother's with young children are dealing with some kind of depression, and that prenatal depression is actually more common than postpartum just not as clearly diagnosed due to blame on hormones. though i am not quite there, i know that slipping into that place is not a giant leap for me having been prone to depression in the past. i am treading carefully and buffering up my support where i can. some days are easier than others and i am taking it one moment at a time.
in this moment i am quietly content and looking forward to embracing the day. there are emails to send, things to cross off my to-do list, playdates to make, time for a nap and time for play, happy endings to celebrate, and projects to work on. every little bit is helping to move me forward and to soften the aches and pains of a life that is simply growing.
*edited to add... thank for all your loving comments and emails! i felt your words like a big hug and appreciate the validation and wisdom more than you know. xo